The Key Ingredient to Success: A Honey Baked Ham

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At age 8, my mom scheduled an impromptu family beach trip. I politely informed her that the trip didn’t fit my itinerary. I am all about family time, but the U.S women’s National team was playing in the World Cup and I couldn’t afford to miss a minute of the action.  My mom assured me that the games were televised at our beach house, but that the games kicked off in the middle of the night due to the time difference in China. I didn’t care if they played at 3am, it was my duty to cheer my team to victory.

We struck a deal. I’d attend our family trip so long as my mom promised to wake me up 1 minute (and no earlier) before each U.S game. She agreed. We piled into our white Suburban and headed to the beach. Each night, somewhere between 2:00-4:00am my mom crept into my room and shook me awake. For the next two hours, my eyes were glued to our 12 inch by 12 inch television in admiration. After the final whistle blew, I sunk my head into my pillow, and dreamt of playing in red, white, and blue.

The World Cup final fortunately aired during the daytime, so my whole family spectated the historical event. I distinctly remember, Brandi Chastain netting the game-winning pk, simultaneously ripping her jersey off and sliding to her knees. Making history.  An indescribable surge rippled through my body like I’d never felt before. I want that. And that’s when my whole life started revolving around soccer.

A few weeks later, I was scouring my favorite clothing store, Nike, when I spotted a shirt that defined my current existence.  A fairly simple white garment, adorned with a soccer ball, but its content stole the show.  Across the front read “I don’t play soccer, I live it.” I tore the shirt off the hanger and flung it over my existing outfit. An impeccable fit. I knew Nike handcrafted that shirt specifically for me.  And I expressed my gratitude by wearing it morning, day, and night.  Each rip and mud-stain acquired from playing soccer only added to it’s authenticity.

“I don’t play soccer I live it” became my motto. I capitalized on any opportunity to transcribe the words onto another object. A pin at my elementary school arts and crafts fair. A plate from the classic “paint your own ceramics” birthday party.

My grandma lived in Bend, Oregon, surrounded by farmland. My friends and I often biked around the country roads and anytime we came across farm animals we named them. One day, we spotted 7 llamas. Can you guess what I labeled them?  “I”, “don’t, “play”. “soccer”, “I”, “Live”, and “it”. Obviously.

My infatuation continued into the following year. Every birthday, my grandma hosts  a celebratory dinner for the “birthday child.” On my special 9th birthday, I dawned my Mia Hamm, number 9 jersey. With the inception of our “number 9” connection, Mia now ranked in the top 3 of my favorite soccer players, behind, Tiffany Milbrett and Brandi Chastain.

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After dinner, I opened a few presents. I doubted anyone would beat my grandma’s gift; a glow in the dark soccer ball. But my Aunt T and Uncle Gary’s present gave the ball a run for its money.  I ripped the wrapping paper off the package and uncovered a slab of honey baked ham with the number 9 taped onto it. They gifted me a “Mia Ham.”

My childhood consisted of late night juggling sessions, perfecting the “rainbow”, competing in made-up games with friends such as who could kick the ball over the highest telephone wire at my nearby park, watching behind-the-scenes youtube videos of the National team. In middle school, I discovered the racquetball courts in our athletic club and my life changed forever. I ignored the sign clearly stating “these courts are for racquetball use ONLY!” and kicked the ball against the wall until the management lady came in and scolded me. I’d act as if I was unaware of the rule, apologize, and then come back again the next day.  I didn’t play soccer, I lived it.

Parents often ask me what their children need to do to take their game to the next level. What skill should they learn? What club team should they play for? What about colleges?

I give them my two cents, but the truth is, nothing I tell them matters. There’s no one-size-fits-all recipe for success. Every elite athlete has a unique story. They come from different hometowns, club teams, social classes, and experience their own setbacks.

But amongst this class remains one common denominator; an obsession. They feel something deep within. A calling. When people discover that “one thing” that brings them an indescribable feeling, it naturally consumes their thoughts. It becomes ingrained into who they are as a person. It creates an unwavering hunger that propels them to focus and commit to mastering it.

I recently toured the Stumptown Coffee roasters headquarters in Portland. There is a man whose occupation is to sample the coffee imported from their other roasting locations to ensure quality and consistency. After 15 years of studying and being a barista, he’s apparently developed one of the most sophisticated coffee palettes in the world. He literally drinks java for a living. A dream career, undoubtedly spearheaded by obsession.

For me, soccer gives me those fiery sensations. My infatuation goes beyond the game itself. I love exploring the cities we play at, learning and reading during recovery time, beating personal fitness records, and meeting equally passionate like-minded people.

Whenever I face a setback in my career, I always think back to my childhood. Blasting balls against the chain-linked baseball fence at the park. Juggling with my friends until we surpassed a set number. The whistle blowing, tuning out all outside factors and playing instinctually. This raw passion ultimately led me to where I am today and is the reason I am still hungrier for more.

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Parents often ask me what their children need to do to take their game to the next level. What skill should they learn? What club team should they play for? What about colleges?

    I give them my two cents, but the truth is, nothing I tell them matters. There’s no one-size-fits-all recipe for success. Every elite athlete has a unique story. They come from different hometowns, club teams, social classes, and experience their own setbacks.

But amongst this class remains one common denominator; an obsession. They feel something deep within. A calling. When people discover that “one thing” that brings them an indescribable feeling, it naturally consumes their thoughts. It becomes ingrained into who they are as a person. It creates an unwavering hunger that propels them to focus and commit to mastering it.

I recently toured the Stumptown Coffee roasters headquarters in Portland. There is a man whose occupation is to sample the coffee imported from their other roasting locations to ensure quality and consistency. After 15 years of studying and being a barista, he’s apparently developed one of the most sophisticated coffee palettes in the world. He literally drinks java for a living. A dream career, undoubtedly spearheaded by obsession.

For me, soccer gives me those fiery sensations. My infatuation goes beyond the game itself. I love exploring the cities we play at, learning and reading during recovery time, beating personal fitness records, and meeting equally passionate like-minded people.

Whenever I face a setback in my career, I always think back to my childhood. Blasting balls against the chain-linked baseball fence at the park. Juggling with my friends until we surpassed a set number. The whistle blowing, tuning out all outside factors and playing instinctually. This raw passion ultimately led me to where I am today and is the reason I am still hungrier for more.

I don’t play soccer, I live it.

"How One Kid's Disability Will Change the Way We All Put on Sneakers"

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16 year-old Matthew Walzer sent a letter into a Nike CEO calling attention his inability to tie Nike shoes due to his cerebral palsy. Nike responded and the result is awesome.

Full story by Gerald Flores of Sole Collector: How One Kid's Disability Will Change the Way We All Put on Sneakers

That One Time I got Impaled by a Pole Stake

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Playing Sky Blue FC this weekend brought back a surge of memories from living in New Jersey during the previous two NWSL seasons. Any time I revisit a place, it inevitably brings back an influx of memories. In Jersey, there’s one particular moment that will forever be ingrained in both my mind and body: That one time I was impaled by a pole stake.

On a blustery Tuesday afternoon, May 13th, 2014, to be exact, my teammates and I rolled up to training. The field was divided into four sectors for an inter-squad 3v3 tournament. Each field was lined with cones, and had poles acting as goal posts. These particular poles were plastic, but had metal rods at the ends that were used to stake them into the ground.

As professional athletes, we live for tournaments like these, and when our coach blew the game-starting whistle it was all business. After 20 minutes of play, my team had secured two victories, and we were now honing in on our third. Up one goal with less than a minute left in the game, we confidently possessed the ball around our opposition.  Suddenly though, we made an errant pass.The other team, quickly grabbed hold of the ball and fired a long range shot that was on target to roll between the poles for a goal. In a final attempt to stop the ball from crossing the goal line, I slid my body down to the muddy ground. Due to the wet surface, I slid much further than anticipated and my momentum drove me through the pole, snapping it in half and taking it out of the ground with me. Mid-slide, I felt a sharp sensation. At first, I thought it was simply my heart’s disappointment in my failed effort to save the goal. But then I glanced down at the exact point of pain to see that the pole had lodged into the back of my thigh.

“What the!?…” Before I could even end my exclamation with an explicit, I yanked the pole out of my leg and blood instantly gushed up in the air. I kid you not, the blood shot straight up like it does in the movies. My teammates came rushing over and Taka, our assistant coach, immediately applied pressure to the wound with his hand. Meanwhile, I stared intently at the ground, practiced my deep breathing exercises and continuously repeated “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay!”

My teammate, Sophie Schmidt, was standing above consoling me, “It’s not that bad Kendall.” I couldn’t see her face, but apparently she was shaking her head left to right with her eyebrow’s worriedly raised. Regardless, her soothing voice made me feel at ease.

After the bleeding finally simmered down, my teammate, Maddie Thompson, drove me to the hospital.

After an examination, they decided against stitching up the deep wound to avoid risk of infection. Instead, they x-rayed the wounded area, cleaned out the divot, gave me a little rabies-prevention shot, and sent me on my merry way. After a few very sore days of rest, I was back at it with a newfound appreciation and reminder of some important life lessons:

Role with the punches and poles

It’s always ideal to have a plan in place of what we want to accomplish and where we want to go in life. Having a well thought-out system allows us to stay focused and reminds us of the reason behind our actions. Yet, undoubtedly, situations aren’t going to go as anticipated. Things will get in the way. In our last game, for instance, it was the ref who got in my way.

If we let these unexpected happenings bring us down, then we are preventing ourselves from reaching our potential. For me, I’d still be impaled and/or eating the turf at Providence Park. Nothing good happens when we remain stagnant after a setback.

It’s crucial to control what we can control and make the best of every situation, even the difficult ones. As the old saying goes, “roll with the punches”- in my case, the poles.

 

Pull the stake out 

Evidently it’s not the most intelligent decision to immediately pull out objects that are imbedded into your body part because it could cause you to bleed out and die or something like that.  I’m sorry, but if I see something lodged into my leg that doesn’t belong, it’s coming out STAT. In the heat of the moment, I acted on my instinct.  When we listen to our gut, rather than analyze situations, we are acting in our most authentic form. Even if it’s not the “right” choice, trusting my instincts always leaves me without any regrets. If our instinct happens to be wrong, we can learn from it and adjust in the future.

 

Stab Your Fear

Before this incident I had a legitimate fear of being stabbed. I assume and hope most people have a general opposition to impalement, but this was honestly one of my bigger fears in life. Yet, now that it happened, it honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought. CAUTION: I AM NOT RECOMMENDING VOLUNTARILY STABBING YOURSELF TO OVERCOME A FEAR. but I truly believe the best way to overcome a fear is to face it head on. Whether it be public speaking, asking someone on a date, or standing up for what we believe in, the more we do that very thing that scares us, the more comfortable we will feel doing it. Most often, it’s never as bad as we anticipated, and it’s often incredibly invigorating afterwards. I am now no longer afraid of sharp objects. Again, please don’t go stabbing yourself, but rather, stab your fear.

A year has passed and I have a beautiful little scar on the back of my thigh. It’s a reminder that there is always a lesson to be learned, even in the most ridiculous situations.  Before you get discouraged from an unexpected happening, stay strong and  and think about what’s at stake (pun unintended). You could be piercing (pun slightly-intended) your dreams. It’s important you stab (ok I lied, all these puns are intended) your fears.  For your stake and mine (pun fully intended), trust your gut.  Alright I apologize, all these jabs are undermining the true points of this story. Learn from everything, for heaven stakes!

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Carli Lloyd epitomizes mental toughness. The bigger the game, the higher she steps up her game. In the single-most dominate performance in World Cup history, Carli netted a hat trick and led her team to a World Championship. Carli has dedicated 12 years of her life to becoming the most dominate player in the world. After the World Cup final, it's hard to argue against it. Carli is as relentless as they come:

Predicting Carli Lloyd by:Jeff Kassouf

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Goalkeeper Michelle Betos' Diving Header Goal was No Fluke

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“I mean Allie just played a perfect ball. I said a couple prayers right before and it just happened. I have literally no idea.”

Goalkeeper Michelle Betos’ response to her unbelievable diving-header equalizer goal is fitting for a humble player like herself. However, it’s not the full truth.  The combination of Michelle’s wide-eyed, open-mouthed facial expression and the 15,214 fans wildly cheering, makes it appear as though everyone in the stadium was in utter disbelief of what they had just witnessed. That may have been true for the spectators, but Michelle knew she was going to score weeks before it happened.

Two games prior, we were in a similar situation playing at home against Houston. We were down a goal with the clock running out. The ball went out for an offensive corner kick. As an all-out Hail Mary-esque attempt to score a goal, we heaved every player, including Michelle, into the box. Unfortunately we were unable to come up with the equalizer.

After the game, we were in the locker room and Michelle told a few of us that when she ran up for the corner she was absolutely convinced that she was going to score. As a goalkeeper, and having never practiced finishing, Michelle knew she had no logical reason to assume she was going to score, but she truly felt it deep down inside.

And then two weeks later, in a rowdy, jam packed Providence Park, it happened. We were down a player and a goal, with one minute left in stoppage time. Michelle glanced at our coach to get the thumbs up to get in the box for an attacking corner. Allie bent in the ball, and it deflected off a defender for another corner. This time, Allie perfectly drilled the ball into Michelle’s direction. Michelle took a few quick steps to adjust her positioning, and then dove, flying with all of her momentum into the ball as it connected with her head.

A sensational diving header goal by goalkeeper Michelle Betos in the 94th minute of stoppage time.

A minute later the whistle blew, and the team, as well as an ecstatic fan, mauled Michelle to the ground. The entire crowd chanted “Be-tos!” Then she was microphoned up for her interview.

“I mean Allie just played a perfect ball. I said a couple prayers right before and it just happened. I have literally no idea.”

Yes Allie Long played a perfect ball. Yes I’m sure Michelle said a few prayers. But it didn’t just happen. Michelle had a gut feeling that she was going to score a goal.

Deep-rooted beliefs are one of the most overlooked assets we have as humans. Time and time again, we hear of people having these convictions that come to fruition.

In the last Super Bowl, the Seattle Seahawks were in a prime position to score a touchdown and secure the win. But rookie New England Patriot Malcom Butler intercepted Russell Wilson’s pass which ultimately led to his team hoisting the trophy. In a post game interview, Butler said “I had a vision I’d make a big play.”

Bill Gates had a vision of there being a computer in every home and that this technological device would single-handedly change the world. Nothing of this sort had ever existed, thus he had no logical reason to believe these things. Yet he believed it at his core.

Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant,  Oprah Winfrey, Mark Cuban…had deep, seemingly irrational beliefs, and they came true.

These successes are no coincidence. Beliefs are insanely influential. They give us confidence in what we are doing and guide our actions.  When we take our beliefs one step further, and not only believe them on an intellectual level, but also on an emotional level, they are a lethal weapon. When beliefs are charged with emotion, they provide us substantially more motivation to fulfill them. They allow us to disregard rational thoughts, and simply trust and follow our instincts. As a result, nearly anything is possible.

In the game prior, Michelle’s envisioned header goal didn’t come to reality, but her belief remained strong. Successful people hold their beliefs through all of their struggles and setbacks.

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Last week, Michelle’s family exceeded their family data plan. Her mom asked Michelle if she had been using her phone more. In the background, her dad quietly chimed in, “Sorry,…it was me. I keep watching Michelle’s goal every 7 seconds.”  Idon’t blame Michelle’s dad. I’ve personally have watched the video 30+ times, admittedly in disbelief. The goal was brilliant. Undeniably, a special goose-bump inducing moment for all who were there.

But it wasn’t just a coincidence. Michelle fully believed at a gut level, despite rational thinking, that she was going to score. And when you truly believe something with all your being, anything can happen. Even something as crazy as a goalkeeper scoring a diving header in stoppage time.

For more on Michelle:

Arrow Liver-Michelle Betos

Michelle Betos’ Super-sized Childhood Leads to Super-sized Success

No One's Gonna Remember You (Lessons Learned from Bieber's Talent Manager)

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Found this article featuring Scooter Braun, the talent manager who represents and discovered Justin Bieber. It's loaded with Arrow Living content:

Full Article here: No One's Gonna Remember You

A few of my favorite Arrow Living parts of the article:

  • If it's achievable, then there's no excuse not to do it. And if you're going to do it, do it to the best of your ability

  • Hold yourself to your highest standard. When Scooter was a kid, every night before bed his dad would tell him he was different. He wasn't better than anyone else. But if he wanted to be extraordinary, then he had to be held to extraordinary standards.

  • Create your own story. Scott began introducing himself as "Scooter" after a highschool bet. He's stuck with Scooter ever since because "No one remembers Scott. But it's really easy to remember Scooter." This allowed Scooter to recreate his story and become who truly wanted to be.

  • Treat everyone with the utmost respect, regardless if its the Janitor or the CEO

  • Stick with your gut. Certain feelings happen that simply don't make sense, but you inexplicably feel something deep inside. Scooter went with his gut when he discovered Justin Bieber on YouTube. He knew Justin was the guy he was looking for just as he knew when he first met his wife, she was the woman he was going to marry.

  • Every mistake has a lesson, even the mistakes of others. Learn from them.